is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
