And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.