But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
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I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
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Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?