i think my tv is drunk
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.