ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos