Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize