I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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