Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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