Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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