Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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