You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
