Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
