Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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