I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Green mimosas i think yes
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
