i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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