Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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