sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize