My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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