doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
