Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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