i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
ttyl tear gas
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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