my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
