Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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