Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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