I think im going to throw up on grandma
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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