Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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