IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize