the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
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The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think my moral compass just broke
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