Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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