Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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