There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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