Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
