Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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