just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
