i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
