Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize