the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
