bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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