is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
