The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's Friday. Sex?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
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The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
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no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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