Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
