Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
only if we run a train.
done.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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