i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
