): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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