GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
