I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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