Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
