Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
