let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
