Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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