you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize