If that was your dad, he is hot
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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