I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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