At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
