i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
