In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
