Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize