Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
