I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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