definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
