U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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