so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
