i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
